fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
