how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
