it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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