i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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