susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
