You're so nebulous sometimes
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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