Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
