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he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
