her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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