the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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