So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
