I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
