My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize