this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize