Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
