it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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