and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
