I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just googled if crying burns calories
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
