Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
