Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
