I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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