Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
