Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
