I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
