What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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