You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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