My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
now i know why i became what i already was.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
