Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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