It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
