I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
