She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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