I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Can I color on your dick again?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
