Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize