giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
