we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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