just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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