I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
