evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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