A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
