I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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