There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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