Plan B is the new Plan A
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
