There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
