she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
