My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
