grandma shit on top of the toilet
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This is my life. Enjoy the view
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize