Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just blew my weed a kiss
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
