where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
