I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Couch. On fire.
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