My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
