i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
