Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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