sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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