This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
