She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
