Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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