you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
