these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
