Well apparently he's into motor boating.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
