Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Naked Twister starts at high noon
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize