you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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