We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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