I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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