It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We had to coat check the pizza.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
